What Really Puts Pressure On A New Mom To Be Perfect

As with every year when the Pan-Mass Challenge weekend finishes off I am reminded of all the true inspirational stories out there, kids celebrating another birthday, starting high school, starting a family, doing all the little things we take for granted everyday because the research and treatments are getting better. And they are – I’ve seen it with my own eyes but there is still a long way to go to a cure. I think about these stories often when I think about motherhood because I’ve lived it and I’ve seen it in my work with Child Life Specialists. I’ve been the person who sits and plays a game with that child while Mom runs to take a shower or grab a coffee. I’ve also been the Mom trying to make crazy medical decisions for their child and never knowing if they are doing the right thing.

So when I see these articles, and I can’t tell you the number of articles I’ve seen – directed towards new moms, or “millennial” moms, on the pressures of mothering in the internet age I can’t help but wonder about them. Seeing the perfect instagram photo or pinterest post and having to have it together like ‘Susie with the three girls in perfect braids just back from the perfect family day at the beach!’ But in all honesty those aren’t the posts that make me feel pressured to be a perfect mom. I can happily scroll by with a “how cute” and move on with my day while my daughters hair stands straight up in a messy pigtail that makes no logical sense.

The stories that really pull at me are my mom friends who have lost a child, the mom who has cancer and misses out on stuff at school because she’s going through chemo, the moms who just wish they had snuggled their babies for five more minutes before they grew up. I know I’ll never be perfect but those are the stories that make me want to try. That make me want to spend every second loving and enjoying my kids. Those are the thoughts in my head when I want to plan the perfect day of being the perfect mom, doing every fun activity my kids and I can imagine. The ones that give me anxiety and keep me up at night.  The ones that pressure me to always be better and do better for my kids!

Meanwhile all these articles can talk about is how unworthy or stressed out moms might feel seeing someone who wants to show off their amazing kid. If you ask me we should all be showing off just a little bit more and maybe we should all be caring about each other and our kids just a little bit extra today.

 

 

 

 

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